The Scenic Route’s Detour – A World of Warcraft-inspired Short

 

Lonewulf as he was on 12NOV2011

It’s no secret that I play World of Warcraft.  I’ve actually been playing (almost daily) since June or July of 2009.  I started out as a male Night Elf Hunter and played ONLY a male Night Elf Hunter for about a year. I also had a Druid whose name I was saving for the then-announced Cataclysm, but he’s since become an off-played alt for when I don’t want to do anything important, as well as randomly creating characters to try the starting zones only to kill them off a few days later on way back to my original.  When the Shattering hit, I created a Tauren hunter so I could learn the new hunter’s setup without looking too much a fool on my original character.  I now sit on a half-dozen hunters (yeah, I like hunters, so sue me) of different races and factions, a few priests, a paladin, a pair of druids, and one shaman who is the biggest standout of all my characters because there’s a really weird back story behind it.  All in all, I think I have 16 characters floating around out there.  I play a lot…

Who doesn't like having huge animals around?

Anywho, one of the biggest things I found myself enjoying the most was the social aspect of the game.  There were all kinds of people all over the place!  Some of them were nice, friendly, chatty, while others were elitist pricks.  Being on a Player versus Enemy server (PvE) without it being a RolePlay (RP-PvE) server, I figured there would be little room for me to be roleplaying.  Boy, was I wrong!  I quickly developed friendships with people who were almost as heavy into RP as I was!  Not so much the over-the-top, “Oh my God, you broke character, how dare you shatter my pretend world” type roleplayers but people who would do some friendly introductions and play-bantering.  I had a blast!  I even had a 45-minute conversation with a Game Master (GM, someone who actually has a lot of power in the game, hired by Blizzard to help players out, interact with the world, and institute instantaneous justice when needed) that started because I was trying to get a particular name on a new realm (sadly, that failed) and then progressed to what it’s like being a GM, crybaby players on the forums, and then a little bit of actual light roleplay with the GM to help them understand that roleplaying is all about writing out your actions, thoughts, expressions, and emotions and not so much having some awesome character in mind.  Then again, being a GM, you’re practically a GOD on the game.  A god that can be fired for causing issues, but a god nonetheless. 

The Dream-Stalkers – Of Dreams and Nightmares

Writing recently has been… Interesting…

I’m not sure what it’s been recently, but I just haven’t been able to really write anything that I’m happy with.  I’ll sit down and write for a while and then decide it’s crap and scrap it.  It’s begun taking a conscious effort to NOT just delete an hour or two’s writing because something just felt off with it.  That includes this piece, Dream Stalkers part 5.  I started writing this one three times before I was finally happy with what I started with.  Either the wording was bad or I felt the flow was off or something.  The first one I did, I didn’t even re-read it.  I just said, “It’s crap,” and closed the window, no saves.

The other day was different.  The words just fell into place and I was happy with it from word one on.  I’m not sure what was different about it, but I’m glad it finally worked out!

So, without further ado, the writing that I’m sure some of you have been waiting for, The Dream-Stalkers – Of Dreams and Nightmares!

“Mother, I don’t think you’d ever be that cruel.” Tatiana’s voice was rushed as she worked to get a room ready for herself, the Queen Mother Lasha, and the human-formed werewolf that the queen considered to be her daughter, Elisa. “It doesn’t make sense, not with how hard you work to keep the peace between humans, vampires, and werewolves.”

Elisa, dressed in loose-fitting slacks and a flowing blouse, chimed in as well. “She’s right, mom. You’re nothing but the utmost in niceness, why would you claim to have such a past?”

Random Thought of the Day 08JUL2011: Writing Again, Yay!

It’s been a few days, hasn’t it?

What?

It’s been two months?  Nah, couldn’t have been.  Really?  It has been?  Hmm…  I guess it has…  Well, for those of you still around, hello again.  🙂  For those who stumbled across my blog on accident or not so by accident, welcome!

I noticed that I’ve had a few months without a writing addition.  Let’s be real, I’ve had a few months since I’ve had an urge to write.  I’m over 80k words into No Way Back and to be honest it started feeling like a chore.  I was writing because I HAD to get it done.  I could feel it.  I was losing the spark of wanting to write.  Writing was something I was doing like it was a job — a job I wasn’t getting paid for.  Chapter 26 was finished and then…  Nothing.  I wasn’t seeing anything anymore.  The quiet whisper of the words and the hidden sights of the actions just weren’t there.  Obviously when you’re writing that’s not a good thing.  I had become obsessed with getting things right that I started losing sight on getting things write.  (Written, but it made sense when I thought it.)  I tried sitting and forcing myself to write.  Write anything.  Write a poem.  Write my thoughts.  Write about being angry over something or another.  I just couldn’t seem to make the words gel.  I can’t describe how much I hated it.

About a week ago, I was talking with a player I know online on World of Warcraft.  They go by the name of Breiz.  We were just BS’ing and chatting when something brought up the topic of science fiction and writing.  I told them that I write, and was asked what I’ve written.  I offered a link, then another, then another, until finally The Princess and the Were was opened, which I know will make little sense because I never posted it here.  I’ll remedy that soon enough.  The comments I received made me start reading through some of the comments I’d received on my writing before.  I never stopped to think how many of the people who’ve read my work actually gave me some sort of praise.  Then something happened.  I wanted to write.  The visualization of events, the sounds of the characters, the strange languages and landscapes and histories all opened up.  I don’t know what the difference is, but in 24 hours, I’d tacked on another 1300 words for Chapter 27.  It felt right.  It seemed like I was supposed to be writing it.  I don’t know what really the change was, but somehow I felt like writing was right again.

I think the issue I was having was actually rather simple: I’d lost sight of my own goals and lost the interest.  It became a grind, not something I was doing because I had fun with it.  But, the comments I’d received in various forms, the feel of the world materializing around me as I wrote just made it worth doing.  So, for those of you who are looking for Chapter 27, thank you for your patience during my hiatus.  Hopefully things will change a bit here.  I can’t say that I’ll be popping out chapters per week, but chapters in general would be great!

As long as this returned happiness with writing stays, that shouldn’t be a problem.

Emotionally Strong? Scary!

I’ve come to the understanding that I’m emotionally strong.  I doubt that’s the right terminology for it, but that’s what I’m gonna run with.  I throw myself behind my opinions, convictions, and personal preferences very heavily.  When I’m upset, I don’t always hide it well.  When I’m angry, I apparently become red-furred and go off.  Alright, so I knew about the last part, but still.  What I didn’t realize is that I apparently become a bit scary.  That’s not what I want in any way, shape, or form, so I think that’s something I need to work on.  Maybe find a way to focus it into my writing and get that kick-started again!

Emotions run strong in my family, and that’s not untrue of myself.  I don’t often realize when I’m letting my emotional state get the best of me, and sometimes I look far more emotional than I’m actually feeling.  When I DO realize it, I’m usually quick to clamp down on it because I hate seeming like some out-of-control lunatic, and I know that sometimes my rants give that impression.

What’s the point of this?  Simple.  I just want to apologize to those who I’ve managed to startled, confuse, or scare with my sometimes illogical outbursts.  It’s something that I am aware of and I am working to fix.

Cadillac. Want. So very, very want.

I drove home and this is what I passed:

http://www.cadillac.com/ctsVCoupe/2011/

I cargasmed.

I have nothing else to add.

RToD: Sensitive Subjects are Sensitive

I spent about an hour or two writing up another Random Thought today.  It’s pretty well written, touching on a subject that’s a serious one to me: Gun Control.  More specifically, how I truly believe that all the gun control legislation really isn’t hampering crime and, in some ways, actually helps criminals while being based on the flawed logic of “Guns Kill People.”  The thought hit me shortly after the Arizona Representative was shot.  While I felt bad for her, all I could think about is, “Great.  Now all the gun control nuts are going to froth at the mouth about how guns should be taken away from citizens.”  I finally got the urge to write it out and, after having completed it, I think I’m just going to shelve the article.

Why shelve an opinion piece?  Isn’t that self-stifling?  Potentially, yes.  That said, I don’t want to be thrown into the mix of angry speech that comes from it.  My opinion is simple: Gun Control Laws Don’t Work.  Writing more will be just as effective.  Meaning, it won’t.  But, the piece touches on something that I don’t wish on anyone.  (At least not anyone I’ll admit to)  I play first-person shooters.  One of my World of Warcraft characters runs around using a rifle only because I haven’t managed to run across a bow I want to give him.  I’ve also got first-hand training on weapon usage being from the US Navy.  I understand the reality of weapon ownership, as well as the arguments against it.  But, right now, none of that really matters to me.  What DOES matter to me is, I don’t want my blog to be a platform to grandstand for one political idea or another, especially on a topic that’s more sensitive at this very second.  Guns are used all over the world for both good and bad, and the bad people shouldn’t be able to get them, but I don’t want to be the one using tragedy for my own opinion-benefit. 

Far from Down with the Sickness

As a few of you might know, I’ve been feeling…  Well, let’s just say sick.  My lovely wife suggested that I go to the doctor and see if what I have is actually the flu.  Suggested is putting it a little mildly, but she has good reason to be concerned.  My son hasn’t been given the flu vaccine and I won’t get it myself because the one time I got it, I wound up with the flu!  In regard to the flu vaccine, I’m of the mindset of, “Why introduce the virus into my system just to ‘protect’ me from it?”  Sure, there’s really more to it, it’s weakened, etc., etc., but that’s just how I feel. 

So, the doctor’s student aide came in and looked me over, then talked to the wonderful doctor that we use.  (We’ll call him Dr. H)  Dr. H came in and talked to me, saying that he doesn’t believe I have the flu because the fever seems non-present (which is odd, considering) and not all my symptoms match up specifically for the flu.  He did, however, state that he is certain that my body is fighting something off from a combination of the symptoms as well as my dizziness, disorientation, and occasional bouts of  incoherence.  I think his exact words were, “Dude, you look pretty rough,” but I could easily be wrong.  I really think I heard him say, “Damn, you look f***ed up,” yet somehow I doubt it.  What can I say, he’s great!  Personable, attentive, and not one to pull punches, thank G~d!  I hate doctors that dance around things and don’t tell you anything. 

Anywho, now I’m at home on my self-imposed bed-rest.  Maybe the better word for it is “Quarantine.”  I’m laying in bed, keeping myself away from my son and wife, and I hate myself for it.  I want to be with them.  I need them around me.  This house just doesn’t feel like home without Kikat’s ever-shifting moods and my Kippy’s trying to get into everything.  Add to that, there’s laundry I WANT to get done but I’m sore and it actually hurts to walk.  There are dishes that I need to get washed, but the same reason prevents me from getting up easily.  I’m freezing, but I don’t want to add more blankets because as soon as I do, I’ll be burning up.  I want to get some sleep in, rest and let my body heal because I feel exhausted from just walking up to the office, but I hear myself in the back of my head telling me that it’s nothing, that I can work through this, that I’m stronger than this, and that I’m being a p**** by not getting up and doing what I know needs done.  I can deal with this, I hear a voice screaming at me, There’s no reason for me to be pretending I’m some friggin’ invalid!  Another voice yells at me that I’m pathetic because I’m being irresponsible for wanting to take care of my son while I’m sick.  I’m irresponsible because I want to take the responsibility of caring for my son.  I can’t tell you how much THAT one’s f***ing me up. 

So, if I’m feeling so miserable, if I’m hurting so much, if I feel so pathetic, then why am I writing this?  Because I don’t know if I’ll be able to admit it later.  I’ll tell people that I’m fine, that nothing really bothered me.  The truth is, I’m not fine.  I feel weak, pathetic, almost helpless, yet I don’t want people to know this.  I’m Wulf, I’m tough.  I can handle everything to the max, at 110%, even when I’m bent over with the plague.  Nothing can stop me, right?  If I tell myself that often enough, maybe it’ll become true.

End of January Already?

That was a very fast month.  It feels like we just started it, and it’s already over.  Everything seems go move faster nowadays.  I remember when I was a kid and a month seemed like a very long time.  Now, it flashes by and you’re left scratching your head and wondering what just happened.  My son will be a year old in about 6 weeks now.  It seems like just yesterday that I was just sitting with Kikat and telling her that everything will be alright as she went through the hellish ordeal of her labor.  Now we’re planning his first birthday.  It just feels like it hasn’t been a year.  With as fast as that year rolled past, the month feels like it just didnt’ happen.  Like I went to sleep at the end of December, then woke up and it’s almost February…

Holiday’s Lack of Posts

As I’m sure some of you have noticed, there’s been an unusual lack of anything at all for the past week or so.  Between feeling sick, work, my son, and generally not feeling well, I haven’t had much to post. 

I know it’s a week (or more, depending) late, but I hope everyone is having happy holidays.  Mine are going generally well.  It turns out that my son can not only stand on his own but has become an accomplished climber.  The day after Christmas my wife and I found him on top of the dog food bin.  We pulled him down and he climbed right back onto it!  That wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that we were using that bin to keep him out of the kitchen after our dog tore up the divider we’d made.  Back to the drawing board, I suppose. 

I’ll be honest: All of my writing has been on a stand-still.  Part of that has been my self-inflicted exhaustion.  Being up all hours of the night on World of Warcraft have left me with no battery in reserve.  Although I was planning on being in bed early last night, my Kikat told me that if I didn’t go to bed (at 9:30), she was going to take away all of my game consoles!  All because I was trying to download a -censored as per confidentiality agreement-, and I wanted to make sure it finished!  I’ve also been lacking in motivation recently.  I have a suspicion that that’s part of being tired, though, so we’ll see how much that’s affected by my new attempts at resting. 

Anywho, here’s hoping that I can pick up slack again soon!  I really like doing my writings and can’t wait to get that drive back.

Request Completed! TDS: Dreaming of their Nightmares

There have been a few of you who have asked me for even MORE Dream-Stalkers.  At first, all I could think of was, “Well, Damn, and I thought I was the crazy one!”  However, you seem to be chomping at the bit for more Dream-Stalkers, so I’ve decided to oblige you. 

At first, though, I honestly was terrified of the idea.  The whole writing was based off of a nightmare!  How could people want to read it?  A discussion with another would-be author helped make sense of it.  She told me that people love to read drama and see strong emotions in the writing.  Drama?  Check!  Emotion?  Check!  Hmmm…  Luckily, some “inspiration” helped get it started after the, oh, tenth or fifteenth request.  Hope you like it!  Oh, and if you’re looking for “No Way Back,” don’t worry, it’s coming.  =^_^=

It is posted here, but I’m giving some warnings.  First there are a few mentions of nudity, but nothing descript.  There is, however, a fair amount of descriptive pain and some blood/gore.  You Have Been Warned.