Random iThought of the Day 01FEB2010 – Since Everything’s Cooler when it’s “i”

Random iThought of the Day 01FEB2010 – Since Everything’s Cooler when it’s “i”

I make absolutely no attempt to hide my dislike of the companies Apple and Sony. They are for different reasons, Sony is because I’ve never had a Sony branded product last outside of its warranty period, and Apple because of the elitist, “I’m the best, mostly because I’m the most expensive” mindset. Nevermind that they don’t mind ripping off early adopters to the tune of hundreds, just to “give it back” in Apple store credit. Doesn’t matter that their functionality is based on the “Steve Jobs Approved” list, meaning if you pay Apple enough, and beg, and please, and do sexual favors for Jobs, he MIGHT let your hardware run on his system. Okay, maybe not the sexual favors part, but still. Finding parts for a Mac that are “Apple Approved” without going online or going to their “Genius Stations” can be about as painful as having your foot removed with a dulled and rusted hacksaw without anesthesia. Basically, Good f—in’ luck.

So, I’m sure that, knowing my opinion of Apple, you’d assume that I’m just going to rag on their “newest creation” simply because it’s Apple.

You’d be wrong.

I will admit that, because of their very specific system component specifications, their hardware can be very, very stable. So, no, I’m not knocking them on a hardware standpoint. And, because their OS isn’t really used all that much, it’s technically more secure, since what’s the point of hacking something when no one will see it. I give them their due, it makes for a more stable system. But, you’re paying an exorbitant fee for that stability, giving it an air of “Must Be Rich To Own Me.” When you’re broke and don‘t have cash loose to spend, you don’t care about pretty or streamlined or even specifically looking rich. You care about it working. ‘Nuff Said. And that’s not going anywhere near their over-aggressive non-competitive attitude towards software on their devices.

The big topic in the news as of late is the emergence of the iPad. This device, as most of you will have read by now, is Apple’s big entrance into the tablet PC market. (The Newton was just pretend, it’s okay.) Now, I’m gonna get my snipe out of the way quickly. Apple’s been promising this now for more than 25 years! Come on, took you guys long enough!

Alright, let’s get down to the brass tacks. This unit is supposed to be your all-in-one hand-held media device. Alright, great! I’m all for the moving forward of technology, but didn’t Microsoft make the concept popular back in ‘01? And, if you really want to get technical, they’ve been selling them for years now. A lot of them are “convertible laptops,” but the idea remains the same, pen and/or touch activated computer. So, Apple’s a little late to the party. We’ll forgive them that, it seems to be their way of doing things, be late, then be “the best at what it is.” We’ll see.

First thing you notice when you look at it is… It’s an iPod Touch Extra-Big Edition. Wait, what? So, you’re going to sell me something that I already own as a brand-new device? Apple’s answer? It’s new, so yes. I dunno about you, but I skipped it’s older brother, how’s this going to entice me to buy it?

That’s out of the way. Now, we’ll get down to functionality. Well, as would be expected, there is really no connection options for this thing. You’ve got their iPod connector, you’ve got A USB port, and you have what looks like a firewire connection. Okay, we’ll concede that it’s not supposed to replace your laptop– Wait, it is? iWork is included? So, you really want me to type documents and adjust spreadsheets on a multi-touch panel, without a keyboard or a mouse? I don’t know about you, but when I’m doing my work, I’d like to have the tactile feel of the keyboard to let me know where my damn fingers are! Oh, looky, you can by a dock unit that attaches to it a keyboard? Then… Why aren’t I just spending my $500+docking station costs on a laptop? Oh, because it’s Apple, right… :S

Now, the keynotes said that 75 million users already know how to use this thing. Well, uh, no kidding, IT’S AN IPOD TOUCH/IPHONE! Really, you’re just getting iPod Touch 3.5, the big version. And they didn’t even bother to fix any of the complaints about the iMalgam of prducts! (iMalgam, amalgam, get it?) No flash, no multitasking, no added capability. They were also so quick to point out the thousands of available apps that are available. Please re-read my statement about it being an iPod Touch. It’s not rocket science here. It is just a bigger version of what you already own, minus the ability to talk with it. And, with the wonders of that Apple Store built in, you can download any of those apps through your network, so long as you don’t mind having Job’s personal stamp on it saying that it does NOT compete with any of the iPhone’s, err, I mean iPad’s and/or Apple’s available-to-purchase software. Then, sure you can have what ever you want.

Next, if you want this thing to have internet capabilities, then you can also buy a monthly contract with AT&T, offering 250GB of download for $15, and unlimited for $30. Okay, that’s kind of cool in its own right… If you don’t already have it’s smaller brother. Then, you’re just tacking on yet another data plan that doesn’t include roll-over data. Pay for it, and if you don’t use it, buh-bye. And to even get this option, there’s another $130 you’ve just spent on hardware. And we still don’t know what the hell it actually does better!

Okay, now, to be serious, it does have its good points. It’s got a realistic price-point to introduce the table computer into most households. It’s pretty to look at. Oh, and the touch screen is fairly responsive. But if you’re planning on doing anything with it, you’d best hope that it doesn’t take up much space. Its maximum capacity is 64GB stored internally. I know people who have that much in music! Even my Zune holds more than that! You know, that OTHER MP3 player that works very nicely, made by some Micro company and generally does as much, if not more than that iPod you’re drooling over? Yeah, that thing.

Jobs made a point to say that it’s not a laptop, and it’s not a netbook, it’s something else. And I agree. It’s a TABLET COMPUTER! It’s nothing new. It’s nothing earth-shattering. It’s not even its own design. I can look at an iPhone and draw this thing. It lacks any kind of serious functionality, outside of a hand-held e-mail reader. And it doesn’t even do that very well. It’s a breeze to type on? Please. Let’s get a real typist on it and see their opinions.

So, another Apple product I’ll be happy to pass on. They still just don’t get it. They don’t seem to understand that their customers are going to be what’s going to buy this thing. And their customers don’t necessarily need another iPhone minus the Phone part. Does this mean it’s not going to sell? Unfortunately not. Too many Apple fan boys who eat, sleep, breathe, dream, and bleed Apple who have to have anything with an Apple logo on it. And too many brainless fools who really think that, because it’s Apple, it’s a must have.

Now, if you’re seriously wanting to get a tablet PC, MSI is releasing their own lineup that actually does everything the iPad does, and a bunch of stuff it don’t, like give you storage space, USB ports (more than one), and more. And, it’ll run Android, so if you want something that Apple doesn‘t like, you can use it, once it‘s out. Anyone Interested in a REAL tablet system?

Here’s the next big Apple thing: The iBreathe strips. It’ll be Apple’s version of the Breathe-Right strips. Doesn’t do anything new or better, just happens to come in silver, black, or white, with an Apple logo you can center on your nose, and pay $50 per strip. Who’s up for it?

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